Green Curtain Songs

by Nate Paladino

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about

This is a series I'm doing of mostly weekly, mostly solo, mostly acoustic, and mostly original songs. Indie folk singer/songwriter with a touch of tragedy and a dash of humor.

Each of these songs was recorded live, in front of a green curtain. The videos of each performance are attached here, or you can find them on my YouTube channel.

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released September 21, 2017

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all rights reserved

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about

Nate Paladino California

I write and sing sad songs that sometimes sound happy. Mostly about love and toxic masculinity.

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Track Name: Sunflower Street
You’ve pulled my teeth
I’ve filed your claws
And your thorny tirades
Used to give me pause
But I’ve pricked myself so many times
You’ve gotten bored of the bleeding

It’s never too much
Like it was before
And your touch is gentle
When my feelings get sore
And you always know the words to say
To keep me from leaving

But I miss the days
When what you said could hurt me
And I miss the ways
That you got under my skin
I miss the face
You only make when you’re angry
And I miss the love
We made on Sunflower street

You never could fix me
And I gave up trying
To last an evening
Without lying
Cause when you tell a story enough
It start feels like a memory

You’re no different
I know you struggle
To be indifferent
When I get stubborn
But now you know it’s better to wait
Until I run out of energy

But I miss the days
When what you said could hurt me
And I miss the ways
That you got under my skin
I miss the face
You only make when you’re angry
And I miss the love
We made on Sunflower street

And then we’d wash our hands
And try to keep believing
That our song and dance
Would last another evening
But look at us now
The spotlight never faded
We’ll smile through the glare
Til it’s time to take our bows

But I miss the days
Tangled up in the sheets
Of the house we used to share
On Sunflower street
Track Name: Hate You More
I guess the sun still rises
Without your head against my chest
And the air is awfully clearer
Without your menthol cigarettes
And the plans we left abandoned
Seem adorably quaint
And the things I took for granted
Seem impossibly attained

And I know you’d say you’re sorry
That’s what makes it feel so hard
Cause you always wanted the best for me
Even if it meant us being apart

So give me some reason to hate you
Cause I’m tired of being mature
Give me some bullets to fire your way
Cause I’ve had it with this good rapport
You gift-wrapped my heart in a bow-tied box
Left it beating on my front door
And I can’t seem to shake you
So help me try to hate you more

Hitch my name to your CRV
And drag it across this town
Burn my fields and steal my grain
And pour salt across my ground
Cause the wind still blows and the walls still creak
The same way they used to do
And if whiskey was words and tobacco could speak
They’d be saying I still love you

And I know you’d tell me something
That would make me feel ok
Until I wake up the next morning
And you’re still a thousand miles away

So give me some reason to hate you
Cause I’m tired of being mature
Give me some bullets to fire your way
Cause I’ve had it with this good rapport
You gift-wrapped my heart in a bow-tied box
Left it beating on my front door
And I can’t seem to shake you
So help me try to hate you more
Track Name: Succumb
Because I follow you
It’s hard to know how you’ll react
Thought if I followed in
Your footsteps, I’d be shielded from attacks
But I’m damned for lack of trying
To push past fears of leading us astray
I guess it’s gratifying
To know that there’s no words that I can say

Cause when that look gets in your eyes
You never stop until there’s blood
Beneath your fingernails from
Carving out a certain kind of love
That leaves me petrified of losing
What my mother warned me of
And keeps you satisfied secure
In knowing that I will succumb

You wear that dress and I succumb
You say my name and I succumb
You start to cry and I succumb
You know damn well that I’ll succumb
You know damn well that I’ll succumb

You think you’re in control
And that you know just what to do
To keep me vulnerable
To any kind of overture from you
It’s hard to argue with
Results and darling that’s just what you get
Your light keeps flickering
And you keep telling me it’s in my head

Cause when that look gets in your eyes
You never stop until there’s blood
Beneath your fingernails from
Carving out a certain kind of love
That leaves me petrified of losing
What my mother warned me of
And keeps you satisfied secure
In knowing that I will succumb

You raise your voice and I succumb
You pour a drink and I succumb
You slam the door and I succumb
You know damn well that I’ll succumb
You know damn well that I’ll succumb

And after I submit
You rest your head against my chest
And I can’t stomach it
What I’ll promise for a pound of flesh
Whatever innocence
I had you’ve twisted into something weak
That you can use against
Me anytime a tear runs down my cheek

Cause when that look gets in your eyes
You never stop until there’s blood
Beneath your fingernails from
Carving out a certain kind of love
That leaves me petrified of losing
What my mother warned me of
And keeps you satisfied secure
In knowing that I will succumb

You touch my hand and I succumb
You kiss my lips and I succumb
You say you’ll change and I succumb
You know damn well that I’ll succumb
You know damn well that I’ll succumb
You know damn well that I’ll succumb
Track Name: Nothing Good
Well you left me in the gutter
Of a street no one goes down
With a pain deep in my shoulder
And a man deep in the ground

And I should have seen it coming
Before we came to grips
And I should have paid attention
To your words instead of your lips

When they said

I’m not an easy girl to be with
I’ll pull the rug out from your feet
I’ll wear you down until your leather starts to split
Nothing good can come from loving me

Well when someone says they’re trouble
You take them at their word
But we were throwing back double shots
And cursing at the world

And a couple weekends later
When your cellphone woke me up
I remember how you shivered
When I asked you where you were from

And you said

I’m not an easy girl to be with
I’ll pull the rug out from your feet
I’ll wear you down until your leather starts to split
Nothing good can come from loving me

Well I never thought it mattered
What you muttered before bed
About some rotten bastard
That you left back in Merced

Until you told me hurry
As he got of his car
And you pulled me down an alley
But we didn’t get too far

And you said

I’m not an easy girl to be with
I’ll pull the rug out from your feet
I’ll wear you down until your leather starts to split
Nothing good can come from loving me

Well the first shot hit my shoulder
And the next shot came from you
And when the blood had reached my fingers
It was over and he was too

As you stumbled towards the body
Of the man you left behind
I asked if you were bleeding
And when you answered me you lied

And you said

I’m not an easy girl to be with
I’ll pull the rug out from your feet
I’ll wear you down until your leather starts to split
Nothing good can come from loving me

Well you left me in the gutter
Of a street no one goes down
With a pain deep in my shoulder
And a man deep in the ground

And I should have seen it coming
Before we came to grips
And I should have paid attention
To your words instead of your lips
Track Name: Nothing Left To Take
Nothing seems to matter
Anymore
Your key still turns but it doesn’t
Unlock the same door
We went from thick as thieves
To on thin ice
But that’s that’s what you end up with
When you steal you pay the price

So our luck’s run out
And our skill is lacking
And my words are loud
And your voice is cracking
Our more colorful days
Drain the color from your face
And this always happens
When there’s nothing left to take

I drilled into your chest
And stole your heart
And you snuck down my throat
And took the breath from my lungs
And after that a simple break in
Isn’t hard
A couple months of good rapport
Then you just walk in the front door

But our luck’s run out
And our skill is lacking
And my words are loud
And your voice is cracking
Our more colorful days
Drain the color from your face
And this always happens
When there’s nothing left to take

You started occupying
All my time
And oh so smooth I didn’t notice
And when I did I didn’t mind
I took all of the strength
That I could find
And when you finally realized
There was none of it to hide

Now our luck’s run out
And our skill is lacking
And my words are loud
And your voice is cracking
Our more colorful days
Drain the color from your face
And this always happens
When there’s nothing left to take
Track Name: Blue Skies and Mai Tais
The sun doesn’t set here
It just takes a little nap
And the air doesn’t cling to you
It just pats you on the back
And there’s nothing I can’t dream of
That I can’t try to make come true
And my dollar goes much further
When it isn’t carrying you

Cause now it’s blue skies and Mai Tais
In eighty-five degree weather
With clean air in a place where
We would have never gone together
Your memory’s as faded
As the linen of my shirt
So I think I’ll spend some time
With women that don’t make me hurt

I was walking down the beach
And a man was baiting a hook
And a book was chasing a seagull
And his mom was reading a book
And I could barely feel your bitter tongue
Tearing my reverie in two
So I’m glad that I didn’t come here with you

Cause now it’s blue skies and Mai Tais
In eighty-five degree weather
With clean air in a place where
We would have never gone together
Your memory’s as faded
As the linen of my shirt
So I think I’ll spend some time
With women that don’t make me hurt

I can talk to the woman at the front desk
And she doesn’t seem to mind
If I ask her how the day went
It went good, then how about mine
And I know there’s nothing to it
It’s just kindness among strangers
But spending time with you made
Me forget that kind of behavior






But now it’s blue skies and Mai Tais
In eighty-five degree weather
With clean air in a place where
We would have never gone together
Your memory’s as faded
As the linen of my shirt
So I think I’ll spend some time
With women that don’t make me hurt
Track Name: Drown Them With Me
Whenever you call me up
I know it’s cause you’re feeling down
And for a night I make you feel like a million bucks
And in the morning you’re nowhere to be found

I eat up the scraps that I’m given
From the table where you sit on high
Where your smile’s more pristine than your linens
And the blood doesn’t show in your eyes

But when you’ve got sorrows to drown
And none of your friends are around
You come and drown them me
You come and drown them me
Come on and drown ‘em with me
Come on and drown ‘em with

I know you want to be near me
When everybody’s closing up their tab
You call me up late just to hear me say
That the key is still under the mat

You blabber out some kind of reason
Why you couldn’t come and see me before
But I’m not gonna try you for treason
So come in, drop your coat, shut the door

Cause when you’ve got sorrows to drown
And none of your friends are around
You come and drown them me
You come and drown them me
Come on and drown ‘em with me
Come on and drown ‘em with

I’ve been swimming for so long now
I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be dry
I’m sloppy on my feet any day of the week
But I’m a bullet in a pool full of rye

But I’m not as deep of a diver
As you seem to want me to be
When you push me under your waters
And leave struggling to breathe

Cause when you’ve got sorrows to drown
And none of your friends are around
You come and drown them me
You come and drown them me
Come on and drown ‘em with me
Come on and drown ‘em with

You’ve tried to quit me so many times
That it’s become a kind of morbid routine
You say your goodbye with some trite cliche
And I answer with a sad repartee

A week goes, sometimes a month
And then you call me at a quarter to three
And god knows I’m ready to bury the hatchet
In a bottle of Glenmorangie

Cause when you’ve got sorrows to drown
And none of your friends are around
You come and drown them me
You come and drown them me
Come on and drown ‘em with me
Come on and drown with me
Come on and drown with me
Track Name: Your Lips Kissing Him
I still have glitter on my jacket
And my shirt smells like perfume
We really made a night of it
And pushed the morning back til noon
A business trip four times a year
Another Valentine’s in June
You told me he’s a man to fear
But I’m done howlin’ at the moon

Tired of secret texts at one AM
After putting him to sleep
Tired of hearing you break down
And telling me your his to keep
Tired of parking on darkened streets
In some god forsaken town
Tired of sweating through my sheets
With dreams of your lips kissing him

You’ve given me your secrets
And you’ve given me your word
But hearing you make promises
Is bordering on the absurd
Cause every night you break it off
With me, you break his heart
Lying through your teeth is easy
When your smile’s a work of art

Tired of secret texts at one AM
After putting him to sleep
Tired of hearing you break down
And telling me your his to keep
Tired of parking on darkened streets
In some god forsaken town
Tired of sweating through my sheets
With dreams of your lips kissing him

You call yourself a victim
And I’m not sure who to blame
All I get are bits and pieces
Soaked in alcohol and shame
Cause for every tear you shed
We pop a bottle of champagne
And the fog around my head
Puts off my doubts for one more day

But when you leave I feel a chill
Move through my chest and start to build
Until my teeth begin to grind
Cause I can’t you off my mind
A shower’s never hot enough
To burn your touch off of my skin
Ah, It’s not you I’m thinking of
It’s your lips pressing against him

Tired of secret texts at one AM
After putting him to sleep
Tired of hearing you break down
And telling me your his to keep
Tired of parking on darkened streets
In some god forsaken town
Tired of sweating through my sheets
With dreams of your lips kissing him
Track Name: In My Dreams
In my dreams it’s never peaceful
In my dreams you break my heart
In my dreams there is a reason
Someone else that makes us part

In my dreams you take off suddenly
With so much left unsaid
In my dreams you leave a knife in me
And desecrate our bed

But no
You still adore me
And Lord knows that I’m still
In love with you
But I know
I’ll fade away, the day you leave
And with 700 miles between us
We’ll both end up finding someone new

In my dreams you’re on an airplane
In my dreams you’re his to keep
In my dreams I drink you back again
And fuck you in my sleep

In my dreams I pay top dollar
For your likeness or your name
In my dreams you are a catalyst
Your absence for my fame

But no
You still adore me
And Lord knows that I’m still
In love with you
But I know
I’ll fade away, the day you leave
And with 700 miles between us
We’ll both end up finding someone new

In my dreams you leave me wallowing
With ends that I can’t meet
In my dreams you leave me following
Your ghost out on the street

In my dreams there is a story
Something I can sing about
With gravel in my voice
And some words that I could shout

But no
You still adore me
And Lord knows that I’m still
In love with you
But I know
I’ll fade away, the day you leave
And with 700 miles between us
We’ll both end up finding someone new

Now we’ve talked it over daily
To win you have to lose
Your career is more important
Than a year of “I love you”s

So remember me at least
For a couple painful weeks
How I tried to be my best for you
And made room in my chest for you
And used to call you kitten
You liked that I recall
So kitten, keep your chin up
When you land, give me a call
Track Name: What You Want
Well if love’s what you want
Then I’ll give up and throw in the towel
And if blood’s what you want
Then I’ll grab it and wipe up the floor
And if peace is your goal
Then I’ll hang up my arms all around you
And if peace gets too boring
I’ll strike the first blow in the war

We’ve used up the classic retorts
So we try to find synonyms
How many ways can you tell me that we’re in a rut
How many ways can I ask you
To open your heart again
And how many ways can you tell me
To keep my mouth shut

Well if love’s what you want
Then I’ll give up and throw in the towel
And if blood’s what you want
Then I’ll grab it and wipe up the floor
And if peace is your goal
Then I’ll hang up my arms all around you
And if peace gets too boring
I’ll strike the first blow in the war

You made me a knight
That never knew when to stop fighting for you
And I made you a princess
That never knew when to shut up
You made me swear
That I’d take a bullet and die for you
And then we made love
And you told me it wasn’t enough

So if love’s what you want
Then I’ll give up and throw in the towel
But if blood’s what you want
Then I’ll grab it and wipe up the floor
And if peace is your goal
Then I’ll hang up my arms all around you
And if peace gets too boring
I’ll strike the first blow in the war

If I’m as wrong as you say
Then let me be fallible
And I’ll let you be right
About any damn thing that you please
Except when you tell me you think
That we’re incompatible
Cause you got me shackled on a chain
And you threw out the key

So if love’s what you want
Then I’ll give up and throw in the towel
And if blood’s what you want
Then I’ll grab it and wipe up the floor
And if peace is your goal
Then I’ll hang up my arms all around you
And if peace gets too boring
I’ll strike the first blow in the war

Your two-headed dogs and the
Fire in your eyes make it palpable
When you’ve sipped all your whiskey
And tell me to go back to hell
My sober entreaties to reason
Never seem applicable
And your sloppy transitions to foreplay
Feel like a farewell

But if love’s what you want
Then I’ll give up and throw in the towel
And if blood’s what you want
Then I’ll grab it and wipe up the floor
And if peace is your goal
Then I’ll hang up my arms all around you
And if peace gets too boring
I’ll strike the first blow in the war
Track Name: Bag You Up
Eighteen bottles of wine, four bottles of whiskey
Make a month together feel like a dream
As hazy as my eyesight in the morning
And as empty as your promises to me

Gotta bag you up and take you out of my life
Bottle by bottle, dress by dress
Letter by letter til it hurts less
Gotta bag it all up and take you out of my life

Seems like everything I have is tainted
Cause everything I have belonged to you
Now I can’t pour a drink without a memory
Cause that’s all that we ever used to do

Gotta bag you up and take you out of my life
Bottle by bottle, dress by dress
Letter by letter til it hurts less
Gotta bag it all up and take you out of my life

Well I used up all my lifelines, I can’t phone another friend
And I’m stuck here with the mess you left behind
You call me to curse and then you call to make amends
And I answer you again for the last time

Gotta bag you up and take you out of my life
Bottle by bottle, dress by dress
Letter by letter til it hurts less
Gotta bag it all up and take you out of my life

You never grew accustomed to the facets of routine
That keep a man from waiting up ‘til dawn
I used to think I loved you but you left me feeling mean
And I miss but I’m happy that you’re gone

Gotta bag you up and take you out of my life
Bottle by bottle, dress by dress
Letter by letter til it hurts less
Gotta bag it all up and take you out of my life
Track Name: Somebody Fragile
The sound of a door when it's slammed
Her echoing cries in the trees
The sight of her face in her hands
And the mem'ry of her on her knees
The curtains make her silhouette
Every line of her body's a crease
You're only in love when you sweat
Over trying and failing to please

I never thought I'd be somebody fragile
Asking you to handle me with care
Taping up my heart with gin and advil
Watching you get used to disrepair
I never thought I'd be somebody fragile
Asking you to handle me with care
Leaving out my eggshells on the carpet
And watching you track blood across the stairs
And watching you track blood across the stairs

The night that I left her for you
You promised you'd give me some time
But time isn't healing the wounds
It's salting the wounds with a lime
Nothing I say is enough
To make you believe in a lie
You're able to call all my bluffs
Cause I can't look you in the eye

I never thought I'd be somebody fragile
Asking you to handle me with care
Taping up my heart with gin and advil
Watching you get used to disrepair
I never thought I'd be somebody fragile
Asking you to handle me with care
Leaving out my eggshells on the carpet
And watching you track blood across the stairs
And watching you track blood across the stairs

The gun at the bottom of her purse
Your hands when they clasp on my wrist
The whiskey on her every word
Your vodka with ice and a twist
The last time I made love with her
The first time you'd ever been kissed
Her dress as she walked out the door
And your pretty face caught in the midst

I never thought I'd be somebody fragile
Asking you to handle me with care
Taping up my heart with gin and advil
Watching you get used to disrepair
I never thought I'd be somebody fragile
Asking you to handle me with care
Leaving out my eggshells on the carpet
And watching you track blood across the stairs
And watching you track blood across the stairs
Track Name: Problems In Bed
Every weekend ends like this
We fuck, we fight, you yell, I cry, we kiss
Too drunk to remember how it started
So we start it all again each Friday night

I can’t stand to lose you
But I can’t stand losing more
And I can’t bear the sight of your hand
Reaching for the door
I can't read your thoughts and baby you're not in my head
So baby.... let's go solve our problems in bed

Love is kind and love is patient
But my patience is running thinner than my skin
Love holds no grudge but it remembers
And your faith in me’s as shaken as your gin

I can’t stand to lose you
But I can’t stand losing more
And I can’t bear the sight of your hand
Reaching for the door
I can't read your thoughts and baby you're not in my head
So baby.... let's go solve our problems in bed

Now it’s sometime on a Bloody Mary Sunday
And we’re both two words away from skipping town
The carcass of a Saturday is burning
And we’re both too proud to let ourselves break down

I can’t stand to lose you
But I can’t stand losing more
And I can’t bear the sight of your hand
Reaching for the door
I can't read your thoughts and baby you're not in my head
So baby.... let's go solve our problems in bed

When the lights are dimmer, it’s harder to stay mad
And when your voice gets softer, I remember what we had
Your touch can make me shiver, and your lips make me forget
How hard you make forgiveness, and how easily I make threats

I can’t stand to lose you
But I can’t stand losing more
And I can’t bear the sight of your hand
Reaching for the door
I can't read your thoughts and baby you're not in my head
So baby.... let's go solve our problems in bed
Track Name: Band-Aids On My Heart
You were tired of living in the wreckage
Of a crash you've made me tell you all about
Some things broken never do get mended
They just learn how to act whole when they go out
Nobody I know says I can blame you
For leaving when the tears begin to start
And all that I can do is call you names that make me blue
Cause I got too many band-aids on my heart

You could never trust me but you made me feel safe
For 18 days and half as many months
You kept finding wounds I meant to cover
And made me say where each of them was from
Nobody I know says I can hate you
For leaving when you see me fall apart
And all that I can do is call you names that make me blue
Cause I got too many band-aids on my heart

You fit me like a glove but you got too used to my fist
When it banged against that door you liked to lock
And I'm sorry for not the space to just exist
Cause god knows I'm a man that likes to talk
Nobody I know says I can curse you
But the hell with them they know that I'm not smart
Cause all I know to do is call you names that make me blue
Cause I got too many band-aids on my heart

And of course you call me sober
When I'm three sheets to the wind
And you say that you'd come over
But you can almost smell the gin
And that was always like you
At your best while I was hurting
Though everybody says you're at your best
Now you're alone

Cause you were going crazy living in the wreckage
Of this spun out metal husk I call my life
And I was too self-centered to see the damage
I was causing you by making you my wife
Nobody I know thinks I should write you
They say that we'll be happier apart
So all that I can do is call you names that make me blue
Cause I got too many band-aids on my heart
Track Name: A Sad Song
Don't know how to do this job
Without getting sad and blue
Cause every time I write a song
It makes me have to think of you

I don't know how to write a line
Without your face across from mine
In your frame there on my desk
Reminding of my regrets

Don't what know anything that I can do
Cause' nothing makes me write 'em quite like you

Cause nothing makes a sad song like you baby
And nothing else can make the crowd go still
Nothing brings the tears on to the paper
Like the thought of you and him in Bakersfield

Don't know how to write a verse
Without your words inside my head
Like calling me a dog or worse
Not calling me my name in bed

Don't know how to make a hook
Cause that was always your department
You knew how to throw a line
And real in a sucker's heart

Don't what know anything that I can do
Cause' nothing makes me write 'em quite like you

Cause nothing makes a sad song like you baby
Nothing else can make me feel so small
You were making eyes on some tall stranger
And I was in the room and saw it all

Don't know how to play at bars
Unless I keep you on my mind
Nothing else makes me sick at heart
And makes me sound like I'm on fire

Don't know how to sleep at night
But it's worth the pain I feel
Cause pain is a song that leaves my body
Broken but with one more hit

Don't what know anything that I can do
Cause' nothing makes me sing 'em quite like you

Cause nothing makes a sad song like you baby
Nothing else can make the lights go dim
Nothing brings the mood down to the gutter
Like the thought that you'll be better off with him
Track Name: In The Ground
Friday night and I'm wearing a tie
You gave me that makes me look silly
I'm holding a flower that's wilted by now
Picturing you in something frilly
With curls in your hair and lace on your thighs
Fire in your face your hands on me
The prettiest girl I've been with tonight
And you'd slap me and say, “That's not funny.”

And your face
Keeps me warm at night
In your frame
With the moon in your eyes
And your scent
On my pillow still
And your body
In the ground

Why could you have warned me
With a letter some kind of sign?
Why couldn't you have told me
That your love was stronger than mine?
I left in a torrent of hot air and hot rain
With a mind full of something rotten
And I was sure by tomorrow
That this whole thing would be forgotten

And your face
Keeps me warm at night
In your frame
With the moon in your eyes
And your scent
On my pillow still
And your body
In the ground

You used to laugh and tell me
That I was nothing but trouble
That I'd bring you crashing to the ground
I said baby let's dance in the rubble
Ah, you weren't too good for me as well
Hell, maybe we weren't right for each other
But someday I'll marry and father a child
And wish that you were his mother

And your face
Keeps me warm at night
In your frame
With the moon in your eyes
And your scent
On my pillow still
And your body
In the ground